Agitation

I am one that tries not to hate people, it's not worth it, but these people are only making it worse! I've been trying to give them the benefit of the doubt seeing as I've only heard bad about them. I will continue to be friendly even though it's completely fake, but I'm tired of the way others are being treated bc of them!

I know there are some fathers and mothers out there that want nothing to do with their children, but when they do and have always been there but the other parent does everything to keep the kids away that's fucked up!!!

They both have custody but the mother constantly says he can't come see them bc they won't be home, but later find out they were home all day! Says he can't have them overnight bc she would of her anxiety and she wouldn't have anything to do! Really!?! Then goes to say he can't bc he has a roommate! First, there's nothin against his roommate saying he can't be around children, after all he has custody of his son!!! Secondly where the fuck are they getting their info? Then she's all they can't bc of CPS said so.

She makes him pay child support! Although not through the court yet! She's pushing for more so might be soon. Guess what! They both have custody so seeing as he has no overnight visits, no money for her! So if she wants anything she would have to file for full custody! Secondly she says why don't you come take them out for two hours, but when he makes plans she refuses! Wtf is wrong with people! The. She has his mother doing the same thing making it so he can't see them

What makes me really mad! They tell everyone he doesn't ask to see his kids or come see them or anything! We have phone records of them ignoring phone calls! Texts of them denying him to see them after saying he can! Really!!!

I just don't see how that's good for the kids at all!! We always invite them over but it's almost always a no. I have to sit here and watch him become depressed bc he's being denied access to his children! I find this kind of shit wrong! That is hurtful to the children in the long run and in my opinion makes you a bad parent!!!

So how can I not hate when they show nothing good? They do nothing good? How am I to ignore what I've heard bad about them when they sit there and prove it all right?

Middle School

Middle school.....dun dun dun......I hated middle school, down right despised it. I went to two middle schools. Hated both. At both schools i had a bully, that one girl that just had to pick on someone. At my first middle school the girl was retched!!! She picked on me everyday through 6th and part of 7th grade. I later ran into her when i was in high school bc we ended up working at the same place. It had been my second year there and her first. I had come to learn she decided that the first person she saw would be the person she would pick on throughout school there. Wtf is wrong with people??? She had asked for forgiveness but I couldn't bring myself to do so. She was always late for work and hungover, we were only 16 at the time. And she was still rude as fuck, still sitting there making fun of me behind my back. I was glad when i had moved back in middle school and got to start all over again. Because when at that school I was quiet and didn't really have any friends.

In the second middle school I was welcomed for a very short period of time. Finishing seventh grade there was relaxing, but come eighth grade things started going down hill. It started off pretty well, two my my old friends from the prior middle school moved to the area and were starting at the same school as me. Yay, you would think. One of the girls had some of her own problems and took them out on others unknowingly. The other one had considered the first a best friend but after some time couldn't take her crap anymore. She came in one morning to school, both she and i worked in the library helping out and getting our student service hours, she had told me she was done with all the drama. Well girl number one decided it must have been my fault so i was blamed and middle school became a nightmare all over again. 

I was beginning to be accused of hacking peoples aim accounts and other social media of the time. Really like i truly care about other peoples crap!! Plus how was I to know their passwords??? really??? I mean come on thanks for the credit though! I'm ok with computers and technology but hacking and all that hi-tech shit, nope!!! After some time i could no longer ride the school bus because of threats. I had tried to walk home at first but then came the chicks trying to jump me, never happened but close too. 

Bullying happened people and its not fun whatsoever!!!!!!!!! I want you all to know that you're not alone, if anyone needs someone they can talk to please feel free to contact me!!! Let someone know, tell your parents, teachers, any adult you can!!!!! Never think its ok for others to say or do things that make you feel horrible about yourself. Everyone is beautiful in one way or another. Just because someone is smoking hot on the outside doesn't mean they're beautiful if their personality sucks. Beauty is on the inside just as much as its on the outside!!! Always be true to oneself!

No one is truly alone, never give up!

Reachout - a source where you can also get the help you may need

Even though things kept happening i managed to find two good friends that got me through it all!!!

Getting Started

I want to state that I am no writer and don't expect to be great with words. I want this to be a place where i can share my experiences both good and bad. Some related to medical problems and others just everyday life. I will try not to mention names as I don't just yet want my identity or that of the people in my life open to the public.

I am a 25 years old female that has finally just last month moved out of my parents house. So I have no clue how to start this so lets start somewhere at the beginning. I am the youngest of three and the only girl.

Most of my childhood was spent moving from one place to another. I have no clue of how many elementary schools I've actually been to. I don't actually remember most of my child, a lot is all blacked out. I can remember about four of them but am sure there were more. As a child there was some violence in the home, but no physical violence. My mom had left my dad one day while he was at work when i was very young and had gotten back together by the time i was 7 or 8.

We all have gotten into fights with our siblings at one point or another, but my eldest brother was always starting fights with us. So lets see how i can tell these two apart for you without giving their names. The Eldest is 28 and the middle child is 26. So lets just say brother 1 and 2. lol. I get along and have gotten along with brother (2) most of my life. He and I have always been close seeing as we're only 1 year and a week apart. Brother 1...... I still don't get along with him, no one in the family really does. Growing up being called a bitch, whore, slut, etc. from your brother sucks, so I've never cared much about him.

I somewhat remember as a child my brother (2) and i would take a shortcut to the park. In doing so we climbed over a fence that was a little jagged on one part of the top. If you have any imagination you can guess i got hurt. Part of the fence went into my leg and yes i still have the scare. No i don't remember if i went to the hospital or got stitches. I remember my brother (2) climbing back up and helping me remove the fence from my leg. From there he helped me into the bed of our fathers truck.

Most of my memories are like a movie, there's a scene here and there then it cuts black and you fast forward.

Today I'm happy with where i am in life! Im living with the man i love and making plans for the future!!